Jenarmont is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, contented ant.

Jenarmont created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jenarmont, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jenarmont, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Jenarmont's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Jenarmont's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never bounce in the presence of mice.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always stare at clouds.