Absakkem is a god.

She takes the form of a large, vain swan.

Absakkem created the Milkyway four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Absakkem, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Absakkem, she will be very sad.

Absakkem's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Absakkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of tapirs.

2. Always help cats.

3. Do not wear green clothing.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.