Ditcarlat is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, tiresome cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ditcarlat created vertebrates four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditcarlat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ditcarlat, it will remove you from existence.

Ditcarlat's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Ditcarlat's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat sheep with great respect.

2. Always obey Ditcarlat's priests.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ditcarlat.

5. Respect your elders.