Batpontonkhimkabnel Armxucknantarwig is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, competent mole.

Batpontonkhimkabnel Armxucknantarwig created silver two years ago.

If you believe in Batpontonkhimkabnel Armxucknantarwig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Batpontonkhimkabnel Armxucknantarwig, he will turn you into a worm.

Batpontonkhimkabnel Armxucknantarwig's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Batpontonkhimkabnel Armxucknantarwig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.