Tarkopdun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-knowing crow.

Tarkopdun created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarkopdun, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tarkopdun, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tarkopdun's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Tarkopdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Run away if four monkeys approach from the north.