Fetshavxuc is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, wise salamander.

Fetshavxuc created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetshavxuc, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fetshavxuc, it will jump up and down on your head.

Fetshavxuc's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Fetshavxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Fetshavxuc's name in vain.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never wear kilts.