Figfligbud is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, astonishing seal.

Figfligbud created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figfligbud, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Figfligbud, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Figfligbud's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Figfligbud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cherries.

2. Never hurt aardvarks.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Do not keep nine moths in a large pit.

5. Feed all hungry capybaras.