Abfumnell is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, moody armadillo.

Abfumnell created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Abfumnell, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Abfumnell, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Abfumnell's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Abfumnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not speak about figs.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.