Gonquat is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, cheerful swan.

Gonquat created the universe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gonquat, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gonquat, it will turn you into a worm.

Gonquat's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gonquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Gonquat must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.