Pancatjam Garnellved Tailbitflabcap is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awe-inspiring badger.

Pancatjam Garnellved Tailbitflabcap created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pancatjam Garnellved Tailbitflabcap, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pancatjam Garnellved Tailbitflabcap, she will turn you into a mole.

Pancatjam Garnellved Tailbitflabcap's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Pancatjam Garnellved Tailbitflabcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never eat bananas.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Run away from yellow seals, for they are unholy.