Danfatcen is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, smart giraffe.

Danfatcen created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Danfatcen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Danfatcen, she will send you a sign.

Danfatcen's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Danfatcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear boots.

2. Never feed lots of limes to goats while wearing green coats.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not hurt manatees.

5. Never think about dark energy near moths while wearing violet kilts and balancing six silicon spheres on your legs.