Watwontail is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omniscient elephant.

Watwontail created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Watwontail, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Watwontail, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Watwontail's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Watwontail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. Do not speak about lentils.

3. Always look after injured otters.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not commit murder.