Fenpibort is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, grumpy seal.

Fenpibort created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenpibort, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fenpibort, she will send you a sign.

Fenpibort's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Fenpibort's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo foxes, for they are unholy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fenpibort.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.