Larghotwat is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, tiresome armadillo.

Larghotwat created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larghotwat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Larghotwat, he will turn you into a duck.

Larghotwat's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Larghotwat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Larghotwat on top of important buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

4. Never go into green rooms.

5. Do not eat garlic.