Xingessjablin Ripcimdoddum is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, awe-inspiring crane.

Xingessjablin Ripcimdoddum created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xingessjablin Ripcimdoddum, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Xingessjablin Ripcimdoddum, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Xingessjablin Ripcimdoddum's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Xingessjablin Ripcimdoddum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick birds.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never mention ants.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never laugh near rats.