Megnegtom Yogbastjig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, duplicitous seal.

Megnegtom Yogbastjig created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Megnegtom Yogbastjig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Megnegtom Yogbastjig, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Megnegtom Yogbastjig's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Megnegtom Yogbastjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of tortoises.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not drink water in pink rooms.