Nelloopflig is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, two-faced cow.

Nelloopflig created Asia three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelloopflig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nelloopflig, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nelloopflig's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Nelloopflig's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. You must love Nelloopflig.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about cell theory.