Flapgessbut Arnhinven is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, two-faced guinea pig.

Flapgessbut Arnhinven created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flapgessbut Arnhinven, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flapgessbut Arnhinven, he will turn you into a rock.

Flapgessbut Arnhinven's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Flapgessbut Arnhinven's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flapgessbut Arnhinven.

2. Never think ill of sick mites.

3. Always obey Flapgessbut Arnhinven's priests.

4. Never sit in the presence of frogs.

5. Put Flapgessbut Arnhinven first in all things.