Yarjadgud is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, conceited swallow.

Yarjadgud created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarjadgud, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarjadgud, he will turn you into a snail.

Yarjadgud's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Yarjadgud's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals in need.

2. Never hurt nematodes.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Yarjadgud.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarjadgud.