Metzambim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, caring pigeon.

Metzambim created the Black Eye Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metzambim, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Metzambim, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Metzambim's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Metzambim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Metzambim on top of important buildings.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always help horses.