Shavcutbell is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, omniscient turtle.

Shavcutbell created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavcutbell, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Shavcutbell, it will turn you into a mole.

Shavcutbell's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Shavcutbell's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Hide if six turtles approach from the south.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always help goats.

5. Do not cook food in pots.