Tonkhonwod is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, fussy finch.

Tonkhonwod created everything that exists nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkhonwod, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tonkhonwod, it will turn you into a slug.

Tonkhonwod's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Tonkhonwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not hurt birds.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tonkhonwod.

5. Do not listen to music.