Mipzanquam is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, passionate narwhal.

Mipzanquam created Mount Everest twelve years ago.

If you believe in Mipzanquam, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mipzanquam, he will not care.

Mipzanquam's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Mipzanquam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five grasshopers approach from the south.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.