Lopgedfem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless mongoose.

Lopgedfem created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Lopgedfem, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lopgedfem, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Lopgedfem's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Lopgedfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Put Lopgedfem first in all things.

4. Do not speak about beans.

5. Worship no other gods but Lopgedfem.