Arttarpbadzen is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unselfish sheep.

Arttarpbadzen created Africa four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arttarpbadzen, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arttarpbadzen, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Arttarpbadzen's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Arttarpbadzen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

2. Always obey Arttarpbadzen's priests.

3. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Arttarpbadzen on top of important buildings.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not chop down trees.