Larnlamstigpark Nadkikrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, boastful mongoose.

Larnlamstigpark Nadkikrutt created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnlamstigpark Nadkikrutt, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Larnlamstigpark Nadkikrutt, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Larnlamstigpark Nadkikrutt's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Larnlamstigpark Nadkikrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

2. Larnlamstigpark Nadkikrutt loves goats, so they must be respected.

3. Never hurt gulls.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always help dolphins.