Bamfligken is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, slow finch.

Bamfligken created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamfligken, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bamfligken, it will throw large rocks at you.

Bamfligken's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bamfligken's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bamfligken.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. You must never eat carrots.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.