Kikfodkan Legcamdam is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, impressive cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kikfodkan Legcamdam created the Whirlpool Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikfodkan Legcamdam, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kikfodkan Legcamdam, he will destroy your home solar system.

Kikfodkan Legcamdam's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Kikfodkan Legcamdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back fawn.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kikfodkan Legcamdam.

4. Do not dye your hair indigo.

5. Do not shave your face.