Abhigben is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, bad-tempered squid.

Abhigben created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Abhigben, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Abhigben, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Abhigben's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Abhigben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Abhigben.