Tonkonnurl is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, passionate dolphin.

Tonkonnurl created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkonnurl, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tonkonnurl, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tonkonnurl's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tonkonnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Tonkonnurl must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never feed peas to sheep while wearing green rings.

5. Always stare at clouds.