Row is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, astonishing owl.

Row created matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Row, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Row, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Row's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Row's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four bats approach from the north.

2. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

3. You must never eat peanuts.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.