Queeggebteen is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring gnu.

Queeggebteen created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queeggebteen, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Queeggebteen, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Queeggebteen's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Queeggebteen's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never feed bread to whales while wearing violet skirts.

3. Never eat oranges.

4. Do not kill seals.

5. Always stare at clouds.