Vabafwap is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, awe-inspiring rhinoceros.

Vabafwap created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabafwap, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vabafwap, she will be very unhappy.

Vabafwap's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Vabafwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near tapirs while wearing turquoise hats.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never hurt goats.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.