Hatwoddid is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, pitiless eagle.

Hatwoddid created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatwoddid, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hatwoddid, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hatwoddid's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Hatwoddid's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not speak about lentils.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.