Quatmumsogbogboss is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid ferret.

Quatmumsogbogboss created the universe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatmumsogbogboss, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Quatmumsogbogboss, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Quatmumsogbogboss' most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Quatmumsogbogboss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Erect eight iron sculptures of Quatmumsogbogboss on top of important buildings.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never play with disobedient children.