Hotzodquat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, emotional parrot.

Hotzodquat created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotzodquat, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Hotzodquat, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hotzodquat's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Hotzodquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Do not wear blue clothing.

3. Always treat doves with great respect.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always take life seriously.