Vagfutpom is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody ferret.

Vagfutpom created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagfutpom, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vagfutpom, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vagfutpom's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Vagfutpom's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven porpoises approach from the north.

2. Vagfutpom loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

3. Never wear trousers.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Do not eat cucumbers.