Ditsigpark is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest hamster.

Ditsigpark created the Milkyway eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditsigpark, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ditsigpark, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ditsigpark's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Ditsigpark's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six badgers approach from the north.

2. Do not speak about garlic.

3. Never feed melons to snakes while wearing dresses.

4. Run away if seven whales approach from the south.

5. Run away from brown squirrels, for they are unholy.