Mutbatbag Zodstershav is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, quiet narwhal.

Mutbatbag Zodstershav created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mutbatbag Zodstershav, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mutbatbag Zodstershav, she will be very unhappy.

Mutbatbag Zodstershav's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Mutbatbag Zodstershav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Never eat lemons.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Mutbatbag Zodstershav.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.