Flam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful parrot.

Flam created viruses two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flam, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flam, she will boil you in a big pot.

Flam's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Flam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Never feed wheat to gulls while wearing turquoise ear rings.

5. Never bounce near seals.