Taftaftip is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, slow crab.

Taftaftip created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Taftaftip, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Taftaftip, it will jump up and down on your head.

Taftaftip's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Taftaftip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Taftaftip.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.