Taftaftip is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, overgenerous bat.

Taftaftip created the cosmos three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Taftaftip, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Taftaftip, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Taftaftip's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Taftaftip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never talk about mites.

5. Always stare at clouds.