Vonkluntagrowpodtifbass is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, awesome ferret.

Vonkluntagrowpodtifbass created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkluntagrowpodtifbass, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vonkluntagrowpodtifbass, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Vonkluntagrowpodtifbass' most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Vonkluntagrowpodtifbass' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.