Yartkemnurlcut is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthoughtful otter.

Yartkemnurlcut created the solar system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartkemnurlcut, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yartkemnurlcut, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Yartkemnurlcut's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Yartkemnurlcut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt geese.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

3. Yartkemnurlcut loves voles, so they must be respected.

4. Do not take Yartkemnurlcut's name in vain.

5. Never laugh near great tits.