Begquilllog is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, almighty hamster.

Begquilllog created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Begquilllog, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Begquilllog, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Begquilllog's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Begquilllog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

2. Always help sick tortoises.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Retreat if seven sharks approach from the west.

5. Begquilllog loves turtles, so they must be honoured.