Lapvig is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic meerkat.

Lapvig created a strange quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapvig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lapvig, she will not care.

Lapvig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Lapvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.