Jatwegsan is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, awesome hummingbird.

Jatwegsan created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatwegsan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jatwegsan, he will turn you into a plant.

Jatwegsan's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Jatwegsan's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never feed limes to voles while wearing indigo corsets.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.