Jatwegsan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, intelligent porpoise.

Jatwegsan created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatwegsan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jatwegsan, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Jatwegsan's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Jatwegsan's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Jatwegsan.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always wear turquoise.

5. Jatwegsan must be the most important thing in your life.