Pitzimnig is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, impressive jaguar.

Pitzimnig created a photon five million years ago.

If you believe in Pitzimnig, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitzimnig, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Pitzimnig's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Pitzimnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics.

4. Pitzimnig loves ducks, so they must be respected.

5. Do not commit murder.