Witmabbonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, kind ant.

Witmabbonk created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Witmabbonk, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Witmabbonk, he will come to you in dreams.

Witmabbonk's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Witmabbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near squirrels while wearing green kilts and balancing five aluminium spheres on your arms.

2. Never think about quantum field theory.

3. Run away from mauve ducks, for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Never mention badgers.